Amber Online

It's a pity, Stefan,

That you were here for so short a time. All the same, you did have time for me. You told me about yourself. What you've done. How you see people. You said you were an a-l-I-e-n-a-t-e-d person. I didn't know these foreign words, but you explained it to me that it meant distanced. I thought about it. I didn't really understand what you meant. I have time to think things over, as you know. I'll try to explain to you my thoughts on distance, well really distance and nearness. They are two sides of the same coin. When I distance myself, it can be for various reasons. First of all I want nothing to do with something, an opinion, a person. I've already been hurt enough. Then I cut myself off, so that I'm left in peace. I have nothing to do with them, I just withdraw. But I also withdraw when I want to be near something. When I'm longing for something so much it hurts - for someone to say something nice to me, for someone to like me, for someone to take my arm for once and not always someone else's. But I can never bring myself to ask. Then I just distance myself. I close the door. That's what Imean by distance and nearness. How about you? Ernestine